Drawing my Way out of the Abyss

I am currently in the creative doldrums and have been somewhat de-motivated when dealing with my current artistic practise. It may be the onset of the darker days or possibly because I am losing confidence in my artistic integrity or  just bored...or all of the above!
Anyway I decided to grab the creative bull by it's horns and just start drawing my way out of the abyss. I grabbed my new pink pig A3 sketch book and began.... I sketched, erased, rubbed, spat, introduced a little colour, trying to use my life and surroundings as subject matter (I'll post these drawings later!). Then I grabbed a flyer for a local discount fashion store, spotted the models gracing it's pages and thought why not? So I began drawing them with my Pilot Tecpoint V5 pen and a little water. I wanted to make them even more anonymous and lifeless then they actually are, place them in uncomfortable or unfamilar surroundings (up mountains, in war zones??) The only life I afforded them are their lips, smudged scarlet slashes on blank faces. (and their nails...blood red talons?) I then graduated to an old Next Directory which I'm thoroughly enjoying. Here we're beginning to buy into a lifestyle, wear these clothes and you too could have this handsome man, these sunlit days, this gorgeous body, this cute dog. Contrast this with my reality, tatty clothes that look frumpy on me, my 'cuddly' husband, a rain sodden mountain and dogs that pee all over the sofa.. I'm having fun, questioning the power of advertising and getting my artistic mojo back...dark days? What dark days indeed!!

Alison Krauss & Union Station: "Paper Airplane" official music video

A New Dawn

Living on the Edge of This 

I am currently undertaking a personal epiphany on the subject of my own art work. Since I began creating work that I have offered for sale, I have been torn between my personal validation of the work I produce and the desire to please both buyers,critics and galleries. My artistic integrity has often been found wanting in that I began to create work which was less about my interpretation of the environment I exist within and more about creating work to please, becoming more about attempting to produce the chocolate box stuff that haunts galleries throughout the breadth of Wales. I justified this action with the excuse that I was 'exploring' my art, but there was always something lacking in the Authenticity of my work. Perhaps there is an underlying authenticity but it never felt true or real. There is also the issue of selling the work, which also creates pressures, particularly when you are attempting to make some sort of living out of art. As this has proved not to be the case I can now safely dismiss this as a credible reason for continuing down this path. I am I think finally tasting the sweet (yet dangerous?) taste of freedom.
Anyway the conclusion I have now reached is that I will begin creating work that I like, that touches the core of me..perhaps this may also touch the core of others but the most important point is in all of this is I don't care about how others perceive my work any more. It is mine and if it is liked than that is good... but no more than that.

The poem that started this journey

Flight taken

Sketch Book Moments: More Drawings

Lone Tree & Slate Fence  

(graphite pencil on paper)

The Slate fences that are so common here in the valley seem to becoming another favourite subject matter alongside the trees. Here I decided to combine the two...the natural and the man made, both of which are shaped by their environment. The slate fences are often marked by 'circular' lichen patches.
I have recently completed several paintings on this theme.

Stone Hill

(Graphite pencil on paper)

Playing around with the delicacy and impermanence of the tree as opposed to the solidity of the landscape
The bedrock spills out from the land.

Marker

(Graphite pencil on paper)

the rhythm of the slate fence dances across the land
marking out the beat of its history
X marks the spot where it all happens
and  the path reaches upwards.

Tree in the Round

(Graphite pencil on paper)

Circles capture and enfold,
symbolise life

The moon is part of the cycle

The tree bows to all

New Paintings Feb 2011

Silver on the Tree

Top row (l-r) Cyfarfod, At Blaen Cwm II & Lord of the Wildwood

 Four paintings of mine that will be exhibited at The Lion Street Gallery, Hay on Wye as part of their opening exhibition. www.lionstreetgallery.co.uk

I haven't mentioned that music is an integral part of the painting process. I play music constantly whilst I paint and thought it would be worth mentioning the artists I'm listening to whilst the work is being executed. I tend to use Spotify to access music and I now have a mixed play list totalling 11 hours. My music taste varies from folk to rock with bits in-between. I have quite eclectic tastes, although I draw the line at  opera, which tends to bring out violent traits.
The paintings above were created with the following background music;
Midlake  'The Courage of Others' & 'The Trials of Van Occupanther'
Joni Mitchell  'The Hissing of Summer Lawns'
Foals 'Total Life Forever'
Mary Lou Lord ' Martian Saints!'
The Gentle Good 'Dawel Disgyn'
Amos Lee 'Mission Bell'
David Sylvian 'The Secrets of the Beehive'
Bon Iver  'For Emma , Forever Ago'
Junip 'Fields'